Pursuing Happiness
Who doesn’t want to be happy, right? Who hasn’t been down or discouraged at some point in their life? Much of what I’ve been sharing on social media for Susanville, @susanvilleup, has been tips for how to move out of the doldrums to return to state of happiness or at least contentment. But there is one critical modality that I’ve learned can help me attaining that shift which I haven’t shared with you. I have found that when I am hardest hit by life’s circumstances, that when I bring my concerns to God; that he lifts me up.
For most of my young life, I followed the advice of my Mom, to do something to distract myself from my feelings: put on a pretty lipstick, plant some flowers, call a friend or bake. It wasn’t until later in life, after I college, when life brought me desperately to my knees to pray that I experienced the comfort and peace offered from prayer. I don’t recall exactly what I promised God should he answer my prayers. It would have followed along the line of “I do better, I will honor You God and live a life committed to you, should You answer my prayers”. He did answer my prayer, but I didn’t do my part of living committed to God. For the next ten years, I went on to live a life dedicated to marriage, friends, family, career, fitness and fun with a fair measure of success I might add, but not to God.
It wasn’t until the DotCom collapse, 911 and my grandmother’s diagnosis of terminal cancer that I took a step back to reflect on where I was, what was and wasn’t working in the “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” camp and where I wanted to go from there. During that time, when I was roughly 40 years old, on my way to Paradise, California to visit my Grandmother, I heard a sermon on the radio that struck a chord in me. No person, fun experience, possession or accomplishment would fully bring me contentment and happiness apart from Jesus. I’m certain as a Sunday school kid that I’d “accepted Jesus into my heart”. I’d even been baptized when I was briefly attending church my Freshman year of college. I recall looking forward to attending church with my Grandma as a kid and liking the fellowship after church in college but I don’t recall every sensing that I had a relationship with God. I’d never developed a regular prayer life.
As I watched my grandmother slowly leave this world as the cancer claimed her body, I reflected on what I would would miss when she passed and how much of an impact she'd had on my life. She'd taught me how to crochet, quilt, make cinnamon rolls her own special way and to care for others. I reflected on how much her faith in God meant to me, how without consciously being aware of it at the time, that through her prayers, I'd been under the protection of God. When I shared with her that I knew she’d always prayed for me, she said that I was blessed that she was passing the torch to me now.
When I returned home to Bonny Doon, I’d made a commitment to start attending church in our small mountain community. I was invited to join a women’s bible study made up mostly of older women in their seniors; it was a real comfort after losing my grandmother. The group welcomed my inquiring questions as we studied the book of John. It was there that the faith I’d placed in Jesus at an early age became fully established and rooted. We shared our life with each other, prayed for each other's families. This group modeled the love we all hope to find in community. I found the contentment that I was seeking could be found in a personal relationship with Jesus.
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